The Pleasures of Part-Time

There a lot of people who have a lot to say about how much Americans work. I’m not going to join in. Not really, anyway. I haven’t done any research about happiness or productivity or any of that. I just know that going part-time was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

I’d been thinking about making a change at work for a while. While I continue to love the place I work and the people I work with, I found myself less invested in the work I was doing. Some of our processes changed; the work wasn’t as interesting to me; and I was more and more distracted by things I’d rather be doing.

I saw an opportunity to focus my work hours on one project and some peripheral duties, which required me to be present at the office for fewer overall hours. I proposed the part-time position and my employer was understanding enough to accommodate my wishes. I would be making less money and no longer receiving benefits, but I’m lucky enough to be covered through my husband, and the additional time was worth more to me than the income.

It took a little while to get the hang of it. In the beginning, my co-workers had a hard time keeping track of when I was available and when I wasn’t. So I was having to come in on off days for meetings, etc. Once people got used to things, I learned I was pregnant and morning sickness kicked in. So instead of being enormously productive in my personal life, I spent a lot of time passing out and feeling nauseated.

Because timing is apparently my forte, this was the entirety of the first few months of being part time. The second trimester has been kind of amazing though. I went from spending my awake hours moaning on the sofa while watching television to baking and reading and cleaning and organizing and more!

It’s done wonders for my reading life, which is a little bit of a relief. I have made enormous stacks of books that I want to get through in the next few months (before baby “ruins” everything). Having two days a week where I can spend several hours in a book has been amazing. It’s also served to remind me how pleasant it is to spend time reading (which has, in turn, resulted in my reading more on my commute).

And, really…it’s done wonders for my life. I feel like I have enough time for things for the first time in as long as I can remember. I get things done without having to rush or wear myself out. The pacing feels a lot more reasonable and realistic. I’m no longer anxiously micromanaging every minute of every evening and weekend and then panicking when more time has passed than I wanted.

As a result, I no longer put off responding to people and requests. To-do list items get checked off sooner. I eat better because I have more time to think about and prepare food. I’m a better wife: I can keep up the house and make breakfasts and dinners; I can listen to what’s going on my husband’s life without feeling like I’m waiting to give him his share of tasks. I have more time to sleep and exercise. I have more time to think and write.

I have more time to feel human.

Memorial Day Weekend 2015

I know…I know…this is long overdue, but a good friend of mine from Philly came to visit me over Memorial Day Weekend, and I wanted to share some of our fun with you.

We had a lovely four days of quality Chicago time. The weather was perfect. Delightfully sunny most of the time. And then rainy on the day when we were feeling a little too exhausted to go out on the town yet again.

We’re big eaters and drinkers so that’s how we spent our time.

The “Last” 100 Days

Since today marks the day when there are 100 days until my estimated due date (EDD), I figured it’d be a good time to give you an update on what’s going on…in my head, mostly.

Being pregnant feels a lot like being in school. I have tons of reading, some of it more engaging than the rest. It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever get through it, and I have no idea what’s going to be on the test. And not that childbirth is a test, exactly…but the amount of preparation for it (that I think, ultimately, doesn’t make a ton of difference) makes it feel like some kind of practical exam. I’m taking copious notes. I have what feel like study groups with my husband where we discuss our thoughts and our ideas for what we want to happen. I even have homework to turn in: the birth plan. I have a couple of doulas (and my husband) as cheerleaders and tutors. I could probably go on and on.

I’ve definitely noticed a shift in how I think of the pregnancy. In the beginning, I was passive. I would read updates from Baby Center and Pregnant Chicken. I was reading chapters in pregnancy books as they corresponded with how far along I was. It felt too soon to get bogged down in the details of the registry and other practical considerations. Now…it’s gotten downright aggressive. I almost don’t care about the updates and time-based chapters, though I still read them. They mostly feel like a litany of complaints that I (knock on wood) do not have. I’m tearing through books and ordering more and making a never ending stack (well, stacks, really) of things I want to get through.

And I’ve become an unstoppable list/timeline making machine. I’d like to say that doing that helps. But I’m pretty sure it’s making myself feel like I’m getting something done when I can’t really do anything. (Can’t really set up the nursery without clearing out the furniture currently in that bedroom. Etc. And it turns out you can’t do any heavy lifting when you’re pregnant. Which is totally restricting and lame.)

The baby itself feels different, too. It feels older somehow. And I don’t mean that months have passed and whatnot. I meant, it feels like it’s already a two-year-old or something. I don’t know if this is because I’m reading parenting books and getting ahead of myself. Or because it feels like I’ve known the baby for a really long time. Or because I had a dream where the baby came out as a two-year-old (and was wearing a pink dress even).

Speaking of which, the baby switched sexes on me. My husband and I are not finding out the sex of the child until we see it live, but we’ve been defaulting to the male pronoun throughout the pregnancy so far. Based on nothing. It just…felt like a boy for some reason. Then, a little over a month ago, when I was waiting to pick up a sandwich for lunch, I saw a family with a teenaged girl and had a wash of panic: we’re going to have a teenaged girl. And that’s kind of stuck for me. I’m pretty sure it’s a girl now. Again, based on nothing but whim/intuition. But it hasn’t faded yet, so we’ll see.

That’s it, really. I’m still totally pregnant. It still doesn’t really feel real. Though it’s very obvious from looking at me. Just a few more months to go and a lot of big changes already. We have a car! We bought a bunch of baby furniture from IKEA! We’re having an Indian baby shower (sort of) this weekend! It’s all happening…

How Am I Doing: Goals Check In

Seeing as the year is more than half over (eek!), I figured it was a good time to let you know how I was doing regarding the goals I set around the New Year. Better late than never, as they say.

Post to the blog at least twice a week

—>So, already off to great start here. This has seen its ups and downs. I’m trying to be better lately. Nevertheless, we can consider this a weak point that still needs much improvement.

More music: listen to more music generally, try out at least one new artist every month

—>Below are the new artists discovered (I’ve definitely tried more than this (though maybe not a new one every month), but these are the ones I like):

Sybille Baier
Lady Lamb the Beekeeper (she seems like she would be fun live as well)
Of Monsters and Men
George Ezra
Amon Tobin
Four Tet

After a bit of floundering around in new music playlists, I found that Spotify’s Fresh Finds playlist (though I hate the name) has a solid offering. It’s given me more than a few leads to explore.

In addition, we’ve purchased some bluetooth speakers for around the house. This has significantly increased the amount of music I listen to. Nothing like baking to a soundtrack of Vampire Weekend, Belle & Sebastian, Leonard Cohen, and Joni Mitchell.

Knit more, at least 20 minutes a week

—>I engage in what might be described as binge knitting. It’s a little bit hard to say if this fulfills the conditions of this goal, exactly. Basically, I’ll go a while without knitting at all. Then be seized by a need to knit and do it for hours. Lately, it’s more of a dry spell since any time at home is spent rushing about trying to get a million things done (that may or may not actually need doing. Jury’s out on that one.)

Bake more, at least twice a month

—>Now that the anticipated pregnancy appetite has kicked in (though it’s not really that dramatic, I find. I just need to eat every hour or two, no big deal), I need more portable, nutritious snacks. This means that I end up baking muffins at least once a week.

Current repertoire:

Bridgeport Ginger Muffins
Golden Raisin Oat Bran Muffins
Zucchini Bran Muffins (this was to be a variation on the Golden Raisin Oat Bran Muffins, but turned out so well that it got added to the rotation)

Do more signature things, for parties and holidays and birthdays and so forth; more thoughtful gestures

—>This was off to a strong start. I found a delightful present to send to a friend. I put together a birthday package for my cousin. Then…nothing. It’s been such a hectic year so far with getting pregnant and both my husband and I having a lot to deal with at work. I’m sad to say, that I just haven’t had the mental bandwidth to be as thoughtful as I was hoping. And, on top of that, the idea of hosting a party or anything has become rather laughable. With a wedding almost every couple weeks, there’s just no downtime to think about or prep for something like that. Hoping we can cheat with the upcoming baby shower(s) and such.

Go exploring more, at least twice a month

—>This…has basically not happened at all. First, pregnancy spoiled things. Then…I’m not sure, exactly. I guess I lost sight of it. It’s just not that high a priority when I have essential things to do like organize my jewelry or make enormous piles of books.

Exercise every day, at least a little

—>This was going pretty well thanks to HabitRPG and the LC exercises. Then it dropped off close to entirely in my first trimester (oh, the exhaustion), and now I’m up to yoga 4-5 times a week and doing a few strengthening exercises every day.

Take better care of my skin: take off makeup regularly; mask at least once a week

—>While I was actively using HabitRPG, I was keeping on top of this. After getting pregnant, it fell off a cliff. I’m gradually getting better about it. I’m also wearing a lot less makeup. Confession: I’m coasting a bit as my skin has been very kind to me in pregnancy.

Take better care of my body: drink more water and eat more produce

—>Doing way better at drinking more water (8 12-16oz glasses a day!) and produce. While I haven’t really had any proper cravings, I definitely just want more produce all the time. Summer also helps with that. It turns out being responsible (in a really weird and direct way) for the nutrition of another human being was the motivation I needed to be more disciplined about this one.

Keep in better contact with people, regular emails and phone calls sort of thing

—>Yes and no. I don’t think I’ve really done an active job of improving on this. That being said, people want to talk to me way more now that I’m pregnant, so this has improved a little as a result. I feel a little weird taking the credit for that one though…it’s not really through any effort on my part. I don’t think it should count. I still need to work on this. A lot.

Read more, at least two books a month

—>So pregnancy (and the weird time pressure I’ve put on myself as a result of it) and working part-time have definitely given the books department a big boost. This list also looks more impressive than it should since it’s year to date. I’ve had many months to read all this, people.

Books read:

How to Be Idle
American Gods
Cat’s Cradle
Windows to the Womb
The Bloody Chamber
Foucault’s Pendulum
The Blissful Baby Expert
Pregnancy Sucks
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth
It Chooses You
Why Loiter? (Technically, I have a few pages left, but I’m counting it, damn it!)

Keep home tidy every day

—>This…is something of a moving target. Well, no. The target doesn’t move. Where I’m shooting from does, maybe. For a while, this really wasn’t happening at all. Just wasn’t a priority. Lately…and maybe it’s nesting kicking in (though I rail against that notion so hard (not sure why)), but I want things tidy and orderly all the time. I will put off much needed resting time to keep organizing and putting things away. The apartment looks a lot nicer as a result, but I think it’s adding to my generally increasing level of franticness.

More reflection/journalling

—>Made a HabitRPG Daily to journal; doing a pretty good job of completing that. Now it’s intermittent at best. Sadly, I was better at keeping this up in the first trimester, when I had more to complain about.

I started back up with HabitRPG (post soon?), and this has brought me back into a good clip with journalling. I think it also helps that my brain is constantly going a million miles an hour, so I often need to sit back and get it all down so that I feel like I’m not spinning around in circles. I think it’s helping me stay sane.

Look for and keep track of sources of inspiration, big and small

—>Man…I kind of don’t even know what this one is about. It sounds like a coded way of saying “Make pinterest boards” which I refuse, on principle to do. Needless to say, I haven’t done it at all. Perhaps this was to help with my writing? On some level, it still feels like a good idea/nice thought. But yeah…not really top of my to-do list these days.

Get and stay organized

—>I’ve definitely made some progress here: reconfigured clothing and makeup storage; desk is pretty much a proper working station; have real plans to go through jewelry and makeup and closets and back bedroom. Getting ready for the baby will be another big piece of this. There’s a big general idea of “We don’t really need all this stuff. Let’s get rid of a lot of it. Especially to make room for the baby.” And it’s actually happening, piece by piece.

Set schedules/routines and stick to them

—>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No, but really. I need to get better at this.

I’m going to try and post these updates on a monthly basis from now on. Heh. We’ll see how that goes since I’ve not had the best record of keeping up my goals or a schedule. Plus, I’m sure the pregnancy will factor in there somewhere. But enough negative talk, I say. Onward and upward!

Architectural Artifacts

Over the weekend, friends of ours got married. The ceremony was lovely; the food was delicious; the live band was tons of fun. But the venue itself was pretty spectacular. I couldn’t help but take a ton of pictures. I highly recommend stopping by Architectural Artifacts and taking a look around if you get a chance.

I Get a Kick Out of You

It feels like just yesterday that I was staring at a pregnancy test in disbelief and reacting with hysterical laughter. It’s funny how it’s become a sort of matter of course since then. There was no panic, no freak out, no overwhelming emotional response. It was a little bit like moving or something, where, on some level, you know it’s a big deal and you’ll feel sad leaving a place that’s been your home. But in the meantime, you just get to packing and hiring movers.

I started feeling “flutters” about a month ago (or “the quickening” as it’s hilariously also known). Which basically felt like someone inside of me was farting really hard. It took a couple days before I was confident that I wasn’t imagining the odd, repeated sensations. In the weeks since then, the flutters have developed into full on kicks and punches. My husband can’t always feel them (which blows my mind as I find them incredibly distracting), but they seem to happen every time I sit, lie down, or eat something. Very active baby!

Something has definitely shifted. It’s become more real. I’m sure being constantly aware that something very much not me is moving inside of my body helps with that. But we’re also starting to make real plans. Scheduling meetings with doulas. Working out the timing of the baby shower and other pre-baby events. Collecting hand-me-downs from friends.

We had our anatomy scan a couple weeks ago. And the first thing we saw was our baby’s spine. And it was glorious. I tell you I’ve never seen such a beautiful spine. And arms and legs and fingers and toes and a clearly beating heart to go with. It was a totally different experience than the first ultrasound. That one felt abstract, removed. I didn’t quite believe that it was real, that it wasn’t some kind of piped in feed. This one…I felt like I was looking at our baby. And every time the little thing kicks (or punches or any number of other sensations), I am delighted.

I can’t say that I’m enjoying pregnancy any more for it. Yes, the second trimester is worlds better than the first. But the best case scenario is that I feel like I’m not pregnant. Otherwise, I just feel like I’m growing and in the way of myself. I’m not complaining by any means, but I stand by my earlier assessment that I do not love (or maybe even like) being pregnant. I’m finding that during pregnancy, I don’t really feel like myself. Now that the physical symptoms are gone, I’m missing my body. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, eh?

But I do really love my baby. Which I admit here, without qualms, even though it sounds cheesy and ridiculous. I can’t help myself. Blame the hormones.

Cheerful Weather for a Wedding

This is not a post about the rather odd movie I streamed on Netflix a while ago. Instead, it’s about a wedding my husband and I attended a couple weekends ago. Or rather, it’s about the day we had in the lead up to the actual ceremony and reception.

Because my husband was in the wedding party, we went around with the bride and groom on a trolley around the city to take pictures.

And it was so lovely that I had to snap a few pictures of my own.

Especially when we got to go into Wrigley Field!!!

And here’s one of me at the wedding for good measure.

I Owe You an Explanation

I haven’t been any good about posting (obviously) lately and you might be wondering why. It’s not because I’ve been busy or lazy (though those are both true at least in part). It’s because…

I’m pregnant!

And it turns out making a human from scratch is kinda hard. Now that I seem to be over the hump of mind-numbing exhaustion, overwhelming nausea, and body-wracking vomiting, I can focus on the fact that I have let my life fall to pieces. Yay!

It’s better now. I’m 18 weeks along and actually feel like a normal person again. I have energy. I’m not constantly sick. I have learned not take naps after 5pm (or it’s the worst thing ever). I’m waiting for some kind of ravenous appetite to kick in, but at least I’m showing!

My husband and I are definitely very excited. Based on various reports of what senses are already developed, we talk to the baby regularly and are on a kick lately to offer a wide variety of tastes through my diet.

As much as I’m looking forward to raising a child, with all its ups and downs, I still haven’t managed to wrap my head around the pregnancy itself. I’m in the fifth month, wearing maternity clothes, and making all sorts of other adjustments, but it still feels surreal. Why should having sex, something people do all the time have resulted in a child this time? Maybe it’s because I’m normally a bit of a control freak. I just have a hard time believing that a person is growing inside of me, despite copious supporting evidence. How can it be happening when I’m not doing anything to make it happen?

And it’s not at all up to me how or when it happens. I’m wracking my brain to think of another example where someone/something else determined the timeline for something and there was nothing I could do about it. I guess school? But even then, I could have dropped out and gotten a GED. It’s all so fuzzy. My baby is going about its business, growing bones, becoming himself/herself. What do I do in the meantime? Nine months is a really long time (and not enough time at all). So I’ve been unable to shake the feeling that this is it. I have until the baby pops out to get all my stuff done. It’s not even that I have a whole lot of things I feel the need to cram in before November. The only really actionable thing is that I have made very little progress on my pile of unread books. A pile that I keep adding to.

It’s beginning to feel like pregnancy is meant to make a person go mad. First, it comes at you with feeling sick, or just terrible enough that you don’t feel justified in claiming the word “sick” but can’t do anything, anyway. Then it’s all magically better and you spend your time wondering when you’ll show, when you’ll feel a kick. After that, it’s lugging yourself around, impatient for the day when you actually squeeze the kid out. For something so life changing and precarious, it’s a bizarrely passive experience. So I do what I can: read way too much about pregnancy and child rearing, eat well, exercise regularly. It’s getting to the point that this very weird thing that’s happening is starting to feel just the slightest bit normal.

But I miss things…

I miss spending passing hot afternoons drinking beer
I miss sushi
I miss coffee as comfort food
I miss sleeping on my stomach

I’ll keep you posted on how things are going. I’m not entirely sure what that means. We’ll discover together! Just a few more months until my world changes completely (or so everyone keeps saying). The only thing I know for sure is that I’m really looking forward to having a proper coffee.

Borderline

We spent a few days in Nogales for a family wedding. During some of our down time (which was minimal), we checked out nearby Patagonia. It was a sleepy little town with lots of art shops. It doesn’t take long to see all there is to see, but it’s worth taking a look.

It’s Been a While…

Sorry if that just put Staind in your head (and sorry if apologizing for putting Staind in your head put Staind in your head).

Soon after we started dating, my husband and I agreed that once every couple months, we should take a weekend to ourselves. Since it’s hard not to get distracted by the mundane and domestic when we stay home, this turned into us taking regular trips around the Midwest.

What with getting married and then taking a couple trips abroad, we put a pin in weekend getaways last year. And this year has been off to a slow start. We put off taking a trip because of the weather and because of [mumbles something indistinct]. But we’d been wanting to take a trip to Milwaukee for a while now and decided to bite the bullet and go already.

So we rented a car and headed up after work on a Friday. We reached in good time but decided to take it easy and just grab dinner at a place close to the hotel called The Rumpus Room.

We started Saturday off at Colectivo Coffee. Then wandered around the Third Ward and did some shopping. After stopping by the Bronze Fonze, we had a picnic lunch of cheese from the Wisconsin Cheese Mart and sausage from Usingers outside the gorgeous Milwaukee Art Museum (where there was a large gathering of prom attendees taking pictures). Then we wandered through the fascinating exhibit on Ebony Fashion Fair. For dinner, we took it easy and had take out from the Wisconsin Cheese Mart’s Tap Room in our hotel.

Sunday morning, we had brunch at The Knick. Before heading back to Chicago, we stopped at The Domes. We had been considering skipping that and ended up being very glad that we didn’t.

It was a really lovely weekend. The weather cooperated (finally) and we felt refreshed and reconnected. It was a good reminder that these trips are really worth it.

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